i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
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blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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