Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
