Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
