And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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