every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
