My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she pinky promised me she was 18
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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