So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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