so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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