i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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