i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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