I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
