That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltđ
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Â and "Why tacos?"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who youâre talking about.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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