Got a toothbrush?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
