Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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