omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
