and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We had sex on a dog bed..
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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