If that was your dad, he is hot
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
