This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
