I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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