I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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