so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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