i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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