So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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