Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
