My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
