What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i would punch a child for taco bell
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize