My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize