ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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