I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Your penis caused this!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
