I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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