YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
