Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
