Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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