I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
