we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
