Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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