If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
