If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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