I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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