Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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