OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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