Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Rumble strips road head = magical
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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