she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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