I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
