maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Even my vagina gasped.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
