I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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