boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
