3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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