Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
