Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Welp...herpes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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