Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
