dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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