let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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