It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
