8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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