Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
