I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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