If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
