You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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