i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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