How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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