I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
