I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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