Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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