Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
