he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize