The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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