Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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