Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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