Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
