I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
