You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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