First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
